Don't Overthink Life! Think Less and Get Happy

Babies have the charisma to melt anybody’s heart instantly; no one escapes the twinkling eyes or the innocent smile. Just their presence will cheer you up, make you forget your worries and tempt you to indulge into their world. What is it about the young ones that we so fondly adore: their innocence or their ignorance; their cheerful nature or their worry-less attitude?

Though I don’t have answers to the above questions, I wonder as to what makes their aura so desirable. Every adult misses their younger days, the thought, “I wish I was a kid again,” resonates with most of us.

• Make Work Play
  The only way you can catch a child’s attention is when you make things seem like play. From learning to count to getting potty trained, everything must feel like fun if you want any success. So what about ourselves? Is your work something you look forward to? If not, is there anything you can do to make it enjoyable? I personally believe that if potty training can seem like a fun activity, anything can; it’s just a matter of perception.
• Forgive and Forget
  Babies can laugh and giggle all day because they don’t keep grudges against anyone. Their heart is pure and their mind empty to laugh out loud and enjoy the moment. Do you think they’ve constructed an evil plan against you because you refused them candy last time? Probably not, life moved on and so did they. So why do we hold on to our past and refuse to let go of the emotional baggage? Does it do us any good except prevent us from laughing wholeheartedly?
  
  Depending on how you made the kid feel, there is a minute possibility that they may be hesitant to give you a hug the next time they see you. But they are more than willing to give you another chance to make things right. Don’t think candy is good for their health? That’s ok; they are willing to negotiate, are you?
• Never-ending Curiosity
  Endless questions of young kids can sometimes be enough to drain the adult mind. They are always busy wondering how things work or why things are the way they are, leaving no room for boredom. Their curiosity gives them an exponential learning curve; they pick up new things quickly and are not repulsive to change.
  
  So why does life get boring as we grow older? We all can identify times in our past where time was scarce and desires limitless, fear was unknown and rules were redefined. Then what happened? Are we so engrossed in our daily lives that we miss to see the opportunities the world still has to offer?
• Unconditional Love
  Kids have a hug and a kiss for anyone and everyone who wants one. They don’t judge you before they come running into your knees and they don’t walk away if you don’t give them the same in return. They have no expectations from you and simply do what their heart desires. You want a hug, they’ll give you a hug, you want two, and they’ll give you two. So how did the adult world become so materialistic that we decide what we give based on what we think we might receive?
• Smile
  Have you ever seen kids smile as they stare at thin air, and wonder what made them giggle? I have, and I’ve concluded that either they can see things that we cannot or they simply don’t need a reason to smile. If there is only one thing I could learn from them, it would be to smile more. Not only does it make you feel good, it makes people wonder what you are smiling about. They’ll come to one of two conclusions: you’re in love or you’re crazy, either ways it will make them smile.

Being happy and living life to the fullest is not a difficult task; you just need to have the right attitude and an open mind. Don’t envy the serene life of a baby, start living it yourself!

Colour up to cover up

We know how a simple hair cut or change in hair colour can drastically alter our looks, and who doesn't love sporting different looks? But call it a blessing or whatever, growing locks (which indicate that you have perfectly healthy hair) means you grow out of your hair cut soon and in the case of coloured hair, sporting two distinct hair colours. 

It is immensely annoying when your natural hair colour contrasts jarringly with your two month-old hair colour that you had been dying to get. Do not moan and take out your brush and gloves. It's time for some action. Who said anything about going around with two-toned hair if you don't have the moolah to cough up at the salon?

1. Decide what colour you want on your roots. Do you want to continue with your earlier colour? Or do you want to get rid of the colour? In which case you must choose a shade that is a shade between your natural hair colour and the last colour you applied.

2. Apply a little petroleum jelly around your hairline (make sure not to apply any on your hair) and on your ear lobes as well. This will ensure that the hair colour will not leave a stain on your skin if it drips while application.

3. Always put on gloves even though you will be using a brush for application.

4. Comb your hair to remove any knots and take a centre parting all the way to your nape. You must section your hair instead of randomly colouring them.

5. Some colours come in a ready-to-use bottle or tube with an attached nozzle. However, since you only want to touch up the roots, squirt just a little blob on your roots and use your fingers to spread it evenly along the new growth of hair.

6. Since the area that needs covering is small, fingers do a much better job than a brush. Using brush can also be a messy affair if you are an amateur.

7. Use a tail comb to part hair and repeat the same on the next section.

8. Be careful to apply the colour only on your new growth and not on the already coloured hair as too much colour and chemicals will damage your hair.

9. Keep the hair dye for as long as is indicated in the instructions and rinse out later. Shampoo and condition as per the directions on the hair colour box. 

5 Destructive Beliefs Almost Everyone Has (And How to Overcome Them)

Have you ever seen a friend or a loved one completely sabotage their success? Of course, we all have. As a friend, we're there on the sidelines trying to help them but they are so blind to their surroundings and so set in their ways that they are like a run away train that nothing can slow down.

That’s often a negative belief at work. If you don’t believe you deserve to earn over $50,000 a year, you probably won’t. You will turn down opportunities because they seem too good to be true, and you will miss lucky breaks because you aren’t expecting them. Heck, you aren't even looking for them.

1. I Am Not Good Enough
   I have dreams. You have dreams. We all have dreams, but there’s always something holding us back. If it isn’t money, resources, or skills, then it is a fear of not being good enough.
   
   I go through bouts of feeling like I have nothing to contribute to the world, but I keep writing, producing, and improving what I do, because that’s all I can do. It’s all I want to do. Life is not all a dance on roses. You will feel down even when others think you’re a success, and you will feel on top of the world when everybody else thinks you’ve lost your mind.
   
   Funny how life works sometimes, isn’t it?
2. I Am Not Worth It
   A lot of self-sabotage happens because of this belief. Your beliefs can play tricks on you and it can be as simple as procrastinating and missing a deadline if you’re a freelancer, or just missing a few vital goals in your online business.
   
   I wish getting rid of these beliefs were easy, but it isn’t, or at least it hasn’t been for me. It’s probably been 7-8 years since I’ve discovered that I have these beliefs. I’ve gotten a lot better, that’s for sure, but there’s still a lot that can be improved; there always is.
3. I Can’t Do It
   How often have you heard this one? For the last seven years, I’ve earned my living primarily through online poker and online business, and throughout these years I’ve had many friends and acquaintances tell me how lucky or how talented I am.
   
   Now, I’m not saying I wasn’t lucky, because there are many things that come into play for me to be where I am today, such as getting access to computers at an early age, learning how to navigate the internet, and even bumping into a friend who made a living playing poker.
   
   There are various forms of I Can’t Do It-itis, but when you notice where it is controlling your life, you can take corrective action.
4. I Am Alone
   I used to think everyone was against me and I’d curse people who always seemed to have it easy. Everything fell in place for them and they checked off success after success.
   
   That was almost ten years ago and I’m on the road to getting better. The difference in my mindset has made a big impact in what my life looks like. Instead of looking for negativity, I now look for more positivity. Not all the time, but I do my best.
   
   As a side note I have to mention that feeling bad isn’t bad. We live in a culture where we are supposed to be happy and cheerful all the time, but that just isn’t reality. When we try to suppress our negativity, bad things happen. Whenever I’m negative, I sit with it, breathe, and do my best to be present.
   
   Not always easy, but much more effective than trying to push it away.
5. What If ...
   What if the internet goes away and my websites are destroyed? What if this and that happens which completely ruins all of your efforts? You don’t leave yourself a lot of options if you’re constantly fearing the worst. Sure, you could spend your days working at the local diner, but it too can disappear just like anything else.
   
   We seem to think that being employed provides us with the ultimate security, but as we’ve seen in the last few years, that’s more fiction than reality.

How to Overcome All of the Above
If there was a simple technique or secret I could give you, I would. However, getting rid of the destructive beliefs above isn’t easy. It’s not impossible, but you have to be determined to change.

If this were easy, everyone would be skipping around with a flower in their hand and a smile on their face. The key is baby steps. There’s no rush, and there’s nowhere you need to be. You are who you are.

It sounds cheesy to say that you have to accept and forgive yourself, but it’s true. Often we resist what and who we are, what we have accomplished, or haven’t accomplished, because society says this or that.

There’s a lot to this and this article has just scratched the surface.

Do you have any tips for how you’ve improved your life? I’d love to hear them, and I’m sure everyone else reading this article would, too.

Why Punctuality Matters - and How to Be On Time

Do you often find yourself running late? Perhaps it's been a life-long problem – at college, you were always sloping into class five minutes after the professor had begun. It might not have mattered too much then ... but in the working world, punctuality is crucial.

If you're habitually late for meetings, if you miss deadlines, if you're often late for work, then you're going to be killing your chances of promotion – and even putting yourself in line for dismissal.

You might be an intelligent, creative person with a ton of skills and experience. And in some countries, where time-keeping isn't seen as very significant, your lateness wouldn't matter at all. But if you live in the West (or work with a number of Western clients), it's really important. Because if you're always late, you're giving people the impression that:

• You're disorganized and careless – you can't get yourself together to set off on time.
• You're self-centered – you're keeping people waiting for you.
• You're a liar. You said, "I'll email you by Wednesday" – and you didn't get in touch until Friday, not even to explain the delay.
• You're stupid (or, at best, far too optimistic). If "traffic was bad" is your excuse every morning, people will wonder why the heck you can't just plan for it.

Now, these things might all seem very harsh and unfair. Chances are, they're not true of you at all. You probably have good intentions, but end up being late because you have poor time-management habits. But your bosses and clients are inevitably going to judge you on appearances. If the first impression they have is that you can't even show up on time, will they really trust you with an important project?

So, punctuality matters. A lot. And once you realize that, it's an easy thing to get right.

Being On Time (Always)

There are plenty of little tricks that you can use to show up on time. Try these six for starters:

• Aim to arrive ten minutes early.
  Take a book or some work with you, so that you've got something to do before the meeting (or whatever) begins. It's much better to be early and relaxed than late and stressed!
• Allow for delays.
  If you're traveling in rush hour, you know that traffic's going to be bad. If you're taking the kids to grandma's, you know it will take a while to get them all into the car. Don't be hopelessly optimistic; just give yourself an extra half hour.
• Cut yourself some slack.
  When you're agreeing to a deadline or giving an estimate, build in a bit of slack. You might be fully confident that you can complete that report in two days, but what if something unexpected crops up? Ask for three days (and, if you can, make yourself look good by finishing a day early.)
• Be more organized.
  How often have you been late because you forgot your keys and had to hunt the house for them? Or because you had to turn back and get that vital document which you left sitting on the coffee table? Keep your keys, phone and wallet in a consistent place. Get your meeting materials together the day before.
• Don't get distracted at the last minute.
  Have you ever checked your emails right before heading to a meeting, "just in case"? It's far too easy to get distracted and leave it too late to get there on time.
• Set an alarm to remind you when to stop working.
  If you have a meeting at 11am and it's a half-hour drive to get there, set an alarm or reminder for 10.15 so that you've got time to stop work, grab your stuff and get there with a few minutes to spare.

You'll probably have some of your own favorite ways to be on time – some people swear by putting their watch forwards 10 minutes, for instance. Even if you're habitually late, I'll bet that you can be prompt when you need to. How do you do it? Share your tips in the comments...

How to Delete That Negative Voice in Your Brain

Even the most positive, well-adjusted person in the world still falls victim to his or her own negative thoughts now and again. It’s human nature. It’s The Saboteur. It’s the price we pay for all that amazing human intelligence. But that doesn’t make it right.

Stop for a minute and listen to the voices in your head. Most of us have at least one or two on a constant loop, repeating the same negative —and often untrue— drivel day in and day out.

It’s such an unconscious pattern that many people hardly even notice it. They certainly don’t have to think about it. But it’s there, swirling around, causing all kinds of unspoken damage —things like stress, low self-confidence and fear of taking risks to name a few.

So why not hit the delete key on negative self-talk? Here’s how:

1. Open Your Ears
   How can you improve a situation if you aren’t quite sure what it is? Before you can remove the negative self-talk, you have to sit with it and hang out. Get to know it a bit and let it be heard.
   
   This isn’t easy. In fact, it can be downright painful. But, while you can consciously ignore these voices, your subconscious is at their mercy. So it’s time to bring them to the surface.
   
   Sit down with a piece of paper and start the conversation. Invite the voices to take over. Make notes and don’t try to argue or reason or counter the horrible things you are hearing. Simply be with them.
   
   But here’s the key: Set a timer. No more than 10 minutes should be spent entertaining these voices. Once the timer goes off, stand up and shake it off. Don’t fall into the rabbit hole.
   
   Keep the paper with you over the next few days. Listen closely to your mental musings. Write down the common phrases that come up—the ones that dampen your spirits and discourage you. Note that sometimes they might sound like the voices of reason. But always be skeptical. “Sabotage” is often disguised as “logic”.
2. Reveal Limiting Beliefs
   Once you truly understand what you’re up against, it’s time to start peeling back the layers. What’s beneath this nonsense? Where did it come from?
   
   Sometimes, the source is easy to place. Some people say the voice is their father’s or grandmother’s or the voice of their third-grade teacher. But often it’s not so clear. All of your past experiences and mistakes just get rolled into a great big list of limiting beliefs—preconceived notions that keep you from moving forward in life. The beliefs are so strongly held that you actually treat them as facts. And these are the fodder for those nasty voices!
   
   Beneath every word of negative self-talk, there’s a limiting belief that blinds you to the reality of the world and tricks you into fear and doubt. Bring these beliefs into the light and do some analysis. Most won’t stand up to a critical eye.
3. Stop Accepting It
   The sad truth of the matter is that if we spoke to others the way we speak to ourselves, they’d probably accuse us of emotional abuse. Those awful, punishing words we throw in our own direction would simply be unacceptable if we hurled them at others. And, more than likely, we wouldn’t tolerate them coming our way from anyone else either. Yet, every day, we let them bounce around in our most sacred space—our mind—taking root and growing into complicated webs of negativity.
   
   It’s time to declare a boycott. Take a stand. Start a revolution in your head. This doesn’t have to be a big, overblown act of defiance. Simply recognize that the thought patterns you’ve been living with are no longer welcome. Evict them. “Nice to know you. Goodbye.”
   
   You may be tempted to skip this step but please don’t. Trust that there is unbelievable power in this recognition and in making the decision that something is no longer okay.
4. Affirm & Repeat
   The final step in this process is to develop a strategy for resistance. In the past, you’ve been complacent, letting the negative self-talk just happen. No more, my friend. From here on out, you’re going to implement some counter-measures.
   
   Since these voices are often so subtle as to go unnoticed, you need to create your own positive patterns of thought. The goal is to make these new statements just as unconscious as the current negative ones. And the best way to do that is through repetition.
   
   Create a list of four or five specific, short and simple affirmations. Try to keep them present as well, so instead of saying “I will…” say “I am…” For example:
   
   
   • I am capable of meeting this challenge.
   • I handle setbacks with grace and ease.
   • I have the strength to overcome obstacles and reach my goals.
   
   Repeat your personal affirmations as often as possible throughout the day. They are mantras that should become completely mindless over time. Whenever you notice a negative voice, push it out with your affirmation. While at first this may take conscious effort, eventually, it will become second nature.

When utilized consistently, these points will help slowly turn those voices in your head into more accepting, loving and encouraging allies. But beware that the negative ones will probably still hide in the corners, quietly waiting for the right moment to strike. So there’s never a point at which you can just tune out and consider your work done. Stay engaged. Keep working. And never let the inmates run the asylum.

The Little Guide to Getting Unstuck

As I look out the window this feeling of stuckness comes and goes. I feel trapped. It feels like I’m in a jail-cell without bars. I am itching to get out, but there’s no door, and I have no idea where to even begin.

During the short span of my adult life, I’ve made money, traveled, and done things that I thought would make me happy. Now, I’m not saying that they are useless, I’m just hinting at the fact that the answer seems to come from the inside instead of the outside.

Perhaps it isn’t all about the money, big house, white fence, two kids, travels, and the things that society tells us are important goals to go after.

Awareness
As the years have gone by, I’ve become more and more aware of what is going on inside of me when I feel stuck. What I have a tendency to do – and you probably do, too – is push the feeling away, because it feels uncomfortable.

Stuckness can manifest itself anywhere, and when left unchecked, it tends to spread into other areas of your life. For example, stuckness in a relationship can easily spread to work and life in general. Everything affects everything, even when we don’t want it to, especially when we don’t want it to.

Acceptance
Something interesting happens when you become aware of your current feelings. Happiness, excitement, and joy are always easier to observe than anxiety, fear, and stuckness, but then again, you learn more from the latter group.

But before we proceed, we have to ask ourselves: what is acceptance? What does it mean? You hear people throw it around like it’s the next big thing since sliced bread, but do most even know what they mean when they use it?

To me, acceptance means being with whatever is. It means living in reality without any illusions. To you it might mean something completely different. It's up to you to define.

When you’re stuck, you can accept the fact that you’re stuck, and be with your stuckness. Begin feeling where the stuckness is in your body. For me it’s usually in the chest area. When I close my eyes, start breathing, and start feeling, I get curious about what’s really going on and how stuckness feels. I look at it as an experiment, a game. I am the observer and I am here to learn. I don’t try to push it away or do anything other than be curious about what is going on, like a child explores its surroundings, I want to explore my inner workings.

Transformation
When I get curious, instead of resisting and pushing away, everything changes. It’s hard to start the process, because it feels scary to look into a feeling that feels negative, but once I start breathing and get curious, it all just melts away.

Now, this doesn’t mean that the stuckness will magically melt away, but it will help you see it for what it is. Just changing your perspective from resistance to curiosity will make a big difference. And it doesn’t have to take a long time either. You can do this anytime, anywhere.

You can sit down, take a few deep breaths, close your eyes (I like to close mine to give me more inward focus), and observe what is going on inside you. This is also called being in the now or being present. It’s a powerful tool for overcoming anything, because it helps you see what is truly real. We have a tendency to escape into the past or future, to regret or to worry.

Now I’m curious about another thing: do you have any tips for how you have gotten past stuckness? If so, please share in the comments below.